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7 definitions by Alison Chaynes

 
1.
A blood relative with enough beauty to warrant serious contemplation of sexual relations.
I haven't seen my cousin Jessica since we were kids...fuck me running - she's incestable!
Por Alison Chaynes 21 de mayo de 2009
 
2.
One born, raised and schooled in a middle/upper-middle class suburb who moves to the city in their mid to late 20's and acts like they've lived there their entire lives.

Surburban Runaways will only congregate in certain neighborhoods of the city (ones typically deemed "dangerous" by their suburban parents), with a specific safety-zone of stores and bars.

If/When they do return to their hometown, they always make a fuss and never refer to it's namesake:

"Ugh, I have to drive out to the suburbs this weekend for a birthday party. Don't know what time I'll make it back, traffic coming back from the suburbs is always a gamble."
"Craig and Ruben got an apartment in Humboldt Park!?"

"Yep, they moved out of Tinley a few years ago; they had a spot in Pilsen, they just moved again."

"Wow, never figured them for suburban runaways...I guess it is the hip thing these days."
Por Alison Chaynes 07 de junio de 2009
 
3.
Rock and Roll music of a watered-down variety; devoid of soul; unoffensive and unharmful, acceptable to be played in a corporate setting.

Classic Secretary Rock: Rod Stewart, Jimmy Buffett, Damn Yankees, Journey, Meatloaf, Bryan Adams, John Mellencamp, Van Hagar

Contemporary Secretary Rock: Maroon 5, Nickelback, Green Day, Fall Out Boy
I'm giving my band one more year to make it, otherwise I'm starting a wedding band - you can make good money playing secretary rock.
Por Alison Chaynes 21 de mayo de 2009
 
4.
A hipster that has latched onto the current thrash revival.

Uniform: white high-top sneakers, dick-tight jeans, black t-shirt, denim sleeve-less vest covered in patches (the kvlter the better), facial hair, bullet-belt, fingerless gloves, headband, 16 oz. can of PBR
I used to love Municipal Waste back when they were still DIY, but I can't enjoy their shows anymore - too many thrashsters douching up the place.
Por Alison Chaynes 23 de mayo de 2009
 
5.
A male homosexual
"Who's Eric talking to?"

"That's his new boyfriend."

"His boyfriend!?"

"Yeah - didn't you know he's a mushroom smuggler?"
Por Alison Chaynes 21 de mayo de 2009
 
6.
The sub-standard Ampeg-brand music equipment being released since the company's 2007 relocation of it's factories to Asia.
Check it out - some schmuck on Craigslist is asking $800 for a SVT-4Pro; that Vietnampeg ain't worth shit!
Por Alison Chaynes 23 de mayo de 2009
 
7.
A hairstyle that's long on the top and shaved on the sides and back (the opposite of a mullet), made most notable by former Metallica bassist Jason Newsted in the late 80's and early 90's.
It's too damn hot for all this hair - maybe I'll shave the underside and rock the Classic Newsted this summer.
Por Alison Chaynes 02 de septiembre de 2009