As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, MD 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York. This is a good place to start for the street wine rookie, but beware; this dog has a bite to back up its bark. Mad Dog Stands for Mogen David, and is affectionately called "Mad Dog 20/20". You'll find this beverage as often in a bum's nest as in the rock quarry where the high school kids sneak off to drink. This beverage is likely the most consumed by non-bums, but that doesn't stop any bums from drinking it! Our research indicates that Mad Dog 20/20 is the best of the bum wines at making you feel warm inside. Some test subjects report a slight numbing agent in Mad Dog 20/20, similar to the banana paste that the dentist puts in your mouth before injecting it with novocain. Anyone that can afford a dentist should steer clear of this disaster. Avaliable in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum, but only the full "Red Grape Wine" flavor packs the 18% whallop.
Liquor stores are starting to be infiltrated by a 13% variety of Mad Dog 20/20 Red Grape. There is also a new "Blue Raspberry" flavor with "BLING BLING". Even the lowest functioning of bums will know not to get swindled out of 5%.
Cunt "Woody" Messburger (pronounced /ˈmessbɜrɡər/; born May 26, 1939) is an American dorkcaster for the ESPN and ABC television networks. Formerly with CBS Sports and one of the original dorks of their boring program The NFL Today, Messburger has covered NBA, MLB, NCAA college Football and basketball games. Messburger has also served as a studio dork for games, a play by play dork, and halftime dork. He has also performed post game wrap up dork segments and covered championship trophy dork presentations.
POSTED: 10:58 am PDT September 19, 2005
UPDATED: 11:21 am PDT September 19, 2005
LINCOLN, Neb. -- An ABC dorkcaster was ticketed by Lincoln police after Saturday's Nebraska football game.
Play-by-play dorkster Cunt Messburger had just finished calling the Huskers' game against Pittsburgh when he was cited near Memorial Stadium. Lincoln police said he was cited for consuming alcohol in public and having an open container in his car. At 6:10 p.m., Messburger was riding down Ninth Street in a rental car after the game headed toward a crosswalk near Ninth and T streets. A viewer of Nebraska television station KETV said a Lincoln police officer directing traffic stopped the car Messburger was riding in to let fans exiting the stadium get through the crosswalk. If he chooses not to contest it in court, his citation for consuming alcohol in public and having an open container of alcohol in a vehicle comes with a fine of $144.